Houston Personal Matchmakers | How to Handle Jealousy

Here at Houston Singles Dating Service, our matchmaking experts know jealousy is normal but also very harmful if not controlled. So how do you know if jealousy is a problem in your relationship?
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Here at Houston Singles Dating Service, our matchmaking experts know jealousy is normal but also very harmful if not controlled. So how do you know if jealousy is a problem in your relationship?

When your boyfriend eyes up beautiful women on the street, do you automatically feel attacked by the jealous green-eyed monster. Is this something normal? How can you control jealousy outbursts? Our Houston personal matchmakers here at Houston Singles Dating Service will teach you how to handle jealousy in your relationship.

Jealousy – A Sign of Distress

According to our friendly dictionary, jealousy in a relationship means a state of being resentful of someone in regards to the opposite sex. It’s a combination of fear and anger, fear of losing someone you love and anger to them showing interest in someone else. Behind jealousy hides the real problem, your insecurity and desire to control your partner. The truth is, jealousy is something both sexes experience, even if women try to hide it more than men.

Jealousy is a normal emotion experienced by many people in a relationship, but it’s important not to let it get out of control. Keep reading as our Houston personal matchmakers will teach you how to manage jealousy so you can maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

Houston Matchmakers

1. List the Scenarios

This will help you put everything into perspective. We want you to list all the situations that trigger your jealousy and take a closer look at them. Then, we want you to reverse the roles and ask yourself, is there any reason to be jealous? Are you overreacting in any situations?

2. Learn to Communicate

Share your doubts and fears with your partner without scaring them away. If it bothers you to see him talk to your beautiful friend, tell him he needs to stop doing it or that he needs to be sensitive about it. If it bothers you that he goes to lunch with his sexy secretary, let him know that it bothers you. But we also don’t want you being unrealistic or unreasonable.

3. Don’t Be Glued to Each Other

Set aside time for each other but also go and hang out with your friends. Our Houston personal matchmakers want you to make the most out of the time you spend apart and avoid giving him 21 questions when he arrives home.

4. Learn to Value Yourself

You can either do this alone or with your partner. Make a list of your top qualities and attributes and everything your partner loves about you. Whenever you start to feel the green-eyed monster come out, reread your list and remind yourself that your partner loves you regardless if the hot blonde is chatting him up. We want you to remember that he only has eyes for you.

5. Improve Your Self-Esteem

You need to do this independently from your partner. Try to spend time apart doing things you both enjoy doing on your own. Trust us, it will make you feel good and give you more to talk about when you are together. It could be anything from working out at the gym, learning a new language, or trying a new class, such as pottery, yoga, or painting. Doing things on your own will boost your confidence.

6. Consider People’s Opinions

You might be able to rationalize jealousy outbursts in your own head by asking your friends what they think about the situation. Take their words of advice into consideration before you fly off the handle on your partner.

7. Be Responsible for Your Jealousy

If your jealousy stems from your own insecurities, then you need to accept it so you can finally overcome your negative emotions. If your partner is not doing anything wrong, then you need to realize that these jealousy issues are your own insecurities creeping out.

8. Change Your Attitude

You need to understand that healthy couples have separate lives and interests, so try not to get jealous of your partner spending too much time with friends. Make your own plans to hang out with your own group of friends so that you both have a lot to talk about when you do reunite together.

9. Find the Right Balance

If your social life revolves around your partner, it’s inevitable that you feel jealous whenever they are not spending time with you. By developing your own interests, reconnecting with friends, and doing things by yourself, you will take a lot of pressure off your relationship and decrease the jealousy you feel.

10. Learn from Past Experiences

If jealousy has caused many problems in your previous relationships, try to recognize it and use your past experiences to make positive changes in your new relationship. Remember, you don’t want to make the same mistakes twice.

11. Have Your Partner Help You

You need to try to make your partner an ally, not your enemy, when it comes to handling your jealousy. Be open when you feel jealousy come up and go to your partner for support. Explain to them that what you feel might not be rational but if they reassure you, you will be able to let it go and put it behind you.

Why Jealousy Can Be Very Harmful for You

1. It Can Be Hurtful for Your Health

Jealousy can start to take over your life, depriving you of sleeping, and making you have less of an appetite. Intense feelings of jealousy can have the same affects as anxiety, which will raise your heart levels, leading to exhaustion. If you don’t manage it right, your jealousy can actually lead to depression.

2. It Can Be Harmful to Your Relationship

Jealousy can affect your relationship dramatically in a negative way, especially if it’s repeated over and over again with no efforts to control it. Even the most devoted and loving partner can feel hurt when they are not trusted. Ultimately, your jealousy can lead to your partner feeling drained and leaving the relationship.

How to Cure Your Jealousy

A professional counselor can help you get rid of your feelings of jealousy. They will dig deep and figure out the real cause of your jealousy so you can handle it on a daily basis. Knowing the origin of the problem is not enough to fix it; you also need to look at what triggers it and why you feel the way you do when it happens. A professional counselor will be best suited to help you figure all that out and work through it with you.

A professional therapist will help you discover your confidence in yourself and in your partner so you can go on having a healthy relationship. Don’t let that green-eyed monster win the battle like it already has in many relationships.

 

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